” I am made to feel guilty….”

A few days ago I was stopped in the street by a pretty blonde woman pushing a child in a pushchair. There was a light of recognition in her eyes and a slight feeling of familiarity in my mind.
It turns out that she was in my class at the age of eleven, back in about 1994. I remember her and her classmates well. It was one of those classes that installs itself in your mind when others remain a vague nonentity. In this case they are remembered for all the right reasons, even young Kane (not his real name) who everyone else viewed as evil is memorable for his kindness, amidst all his problems, to his classmates. Interestingly he has turned out okay whereas his “lovely” twin brother went right off the rails.

Back to Young Helena (again name changed to protect the innocent). She told me that she is married with four children. The youngest , celebrating his second birthday on the day in question, was in the push chair and was quite capable of carrying on a conversation  with me when I was introduced as “Mummy’s teacher.”

Helena is not working. As she said she believes that her job is to bring up her children and, given that her husband’s earning power is greater than hers and child care is so expensive, that is what she is doing. Helena’s children do not got to Nursery in spite of the fifteen hours of free child care per week that the government (the New Labour Government) have granted each child. Her daughter does not enjoy it.

Helena looked extremely sad as she said, “I am made to feel guilty for not going to work and wanting to bring up my own children and now the Social workers accuse me of not allowing my children to socialise by using the free fifteen hours at the nursery.”

Here we have an example of the Socialist, Authoritarian movement to subvert the place of the family in the bringing up of children. That, and the pressure from society for people to work to get money to buy things must be almost irresistible.

Of course Helena and her partner provide lots of opportunities for socialising for their children. It’s not as if they are  inexperienced or unsuccessful as parents. They have an eleven year old daughter ready to attend secondary school next year.

Well done Helena, I’m proud of you.

A further, and even more telling, example of the results of these pressures is the recent report that increasing numbers of children are  entering Primary schools still wearing nappies (diapers) and not toilet trained.

Back in 1968 (IIRC) I had an argument with Jack Straw , then President of The National Union of  Students, and some of his far left cronies about a proposal before a committee that the Union should call for “provision of free Nursery Places for every child from the age of three.” I’m not completely sure that this was meant as full time nursery education but my memory is that it was. Someone even said that this should be from the age of two.. As I recall the Israeli Kibbutz system of bringing up children was also cited. (I realise that this varied)
My response at the suggestion that children aged two should be sent to nursery full time was the (very unPC now) statement, ” You will be encouraging women to abdicate their responsibility for the bringing up of their own children.” to which someone muttered, “Of course.”

Okay,  today I would say “parents” and not “women” but my belief is still the same. The State has no place in the bringing up of children except to ensure that no harm is done to them.

I haven’t touched upon the extension of formal educational ideas to the care of children as young as two years old.

There are time when I despise the people who have influence over my government’s policies for young people. Policies like this are more dangerous for the future than the need to impose cuts on spending because of the greed of individual people and the incompetence of previous governments.

As I write I hear that  a British Minister (a Muslim) is due to call for “Europe to become more confident in its Christianity”…… Aaaaaaaargh!

Still, as I said: Well done Helena!



6 Responses to “” I am made to feel guilty….””

  1. Grannymar Says:

    I’m with Helena 100%. I too was a stay at home mother and never regretted one moment of it. I know for a fact that I was frowned upon by some of the other parents, yet I was always the first person looked to and expected to provide a constant supply of cakes for PTA sales and fund raising events. Regularly there was a “Mammy it is Miss or Mr So-and-so’s birthday, we need a cake,will you bake one?”

    I found other outlets for my talents through volunteering during school hours. With one salary, we may not have had every modern gadget as it came off the conveyor belt, but we had a solid stable home with a welcome and hot food at the end of each day.

  2. Delirious Says:

    Although I didn’t have free nursery school hours given to me, I still believed that my children deserved to be with their mother. I don’t think that the benefits of nursery school out weigh the benefit of the teachings and companionship of a mother. I chose to stay home with my children and not work. I feel this is the most important work a woman can do. If a woman does not have children, then it doesn’t matter what employment she chooses. But if she does have children, her duty is to raise them the best she can. When she is old and gray, it won’t matter how much money she made in her career, but it will matter how her children turned out.

    No care giver can give my child the love that I can give. No care giver can teach my child my values. I would choose to do without the luxuries of life before I would choose to give the care of my child over to another person.

    • magpie11 Says:

      Ooooh! teaching your values, eh? Tut tut! Sounds like indoctrination to me 😉

      A few doors away and living next door to each other are two families each with two daughters. One is a two parent family where father has stayed home as house husband and home dad. The other is a single parent family where, as long as they have lived there mum has worked.

      Four great kids!

  3. Delirious Says:

    Indoctrination? When did teaching your children what is right and wrong become indoctrination? Next thing you know I will be accused of brainwashing!

  4. Rummuser Says:

    My late wife gave up a flourishing career when our son was born to give him all the time that he would require. In retrospect, I think that act of hers, which subsequently meant that she ran the household as I was mostly out of town on business, kept our family together and also saved my son from disaster. All the girls in our family, my nieces in law and nieces, have become full time mothers and the children flourish. On the other hand, I find two income households with children in the care of amahs, turning out monsters at very young age.

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