Magpie’s Law of the Sheer (Bloody) Cussedness of Life

One of this disparate bunch of people (I think it was Gaelika) chose the topic of Unwritten Rules for this weeks Loose Bloggers Consortium post: Deliriou, Akanksha, Anu, Ashok, Conrad, , gaelikaa, Grannymar, Magpie11, Padmum ….some one is missing from this list…. See? MLSBCL in operation already. I cut and pasted the list from Rummuser’s blog last week and into operation comes MLSBCL….. of course, his own link would not be included in a list of  links for us to go to from his blog.

Being British, more specifically English and agricultural English to boot, it might be suspected that a major topic of conversation in my life would be the weather. That is not really so. I have my feelings about weather. Hot and humid I find uncomfortable. Bright,  cold and frosty I love. Autumn sunshine and spring sunshine I enjoy. And snow I hate. Storms are likely to bring out an almost religious fervour in me.

One thing I know about weather is that it exhibits an almost obsessive need to follow MLSBCL. The BBC weather man may forecast rain and so I go out with a water proof coat over my arm and never have to wear it because the sun shines down from a bright blue summer sky. He or his female counterpart forecasts bright sunny weather and out I go in shirt sleeves, slacks and sandals and down it pours. If I need some twelve hours of gentle rain for the allotment what I get is a cloudburst when a month’s rain falls in twelve minutes and the ground becomes water logged.

What about shopping? Not your every day comestibles shopping, though that can follow MLSBCL. For example the local store may have something on offer and I decide to go and avail myself of such generosity on the following day. Lo and behold, the offer is no longer “running”. I’m a day late.

No, the shopping that I am referring to is more of the :”That is a nice antique chest (or insert any other item) and the price is very good. I’ll just pop in and have a closer look.” type of shopping. I have lost count of the number of times I have gone ahead, popped in, had a look and confirmed that I am definitely interested. Gone home and returned on the following day and the item has been sold. Or perhaps I have been in several times and then decided to “Go for it” only to find that it was sold for less than the advertised price just the day or even half an hour before.

Mind you sometimes it is the humans involved that are driven by MLSBCL. I recall one dealer, a rather rotund and short woman who seemed always to be able to sell things that I had shown a strong interest in without any trouble at all. I would be looking at (say) an oak desk and in  would walk a certain lady with  her horrid snuffly, gruffly, snotty little pekingese under her arm. I would pass the time of day and leave the shop. Next day the desk would be gone. This sort of thing happened too often for it not to be a case of  MLSBCL… By the way I still resent losing the desk that time and a few other things too. It was a wonderful desk. Apparently Pat, that was the dealer’s name, was not averse to calling the other buyer and telling her when I had been interested in something and selling it on the strength of that alone. I’m not convinced that she didn’t also sell a few very dud items by dint of saying that i was interested, or maybe just hinting.

Why is it that whenever I want to catch a bus, in either direction, I only have to walkout of the front door for one to appear? Especially since it has become harder for me to run up the road to catch it? MSLBCL…that’s what!

I am sure that you who read this can think of other examples of this unwritten law in action.

A final example: I am writing this at past 10-00 pm BST . Something that happens more and more because, due to MSLBCL, I just do not seem to be able to get these posts written on time.



9 Responses to “Magpie’s Law of the Sheer (Bloody) Cussedness of Life”

  1. Ursula Says:

    Magpie, let me rework an old saying: “Better late than at all”.

    I love your Magpie’s Law. And how many times a month can one work “cussedness” into a sentence without the thought police descending on you? That’s the one good thing about Monopoly: The Jail Free Card. It will sell well to the one player who always ends up behind bars. That’s me.

    I feel for you and your quest. My own example being a “plan chest”. You know those amazing storages that Architects use. The idea being that the drawers are shallow, not deep. So much easier to retrieve paper. And their dimension, across, is awesome. However, plan chests are a complete bugger to find these days. I DID find one. Pine. About three years ago. Perfect. Shop down the road. Indecision set in – on account of price. Ridiculous when you think about it what we deprive ourselves of just because it costs a few hundred pounds. So, by the time I’d convinced myself that I really really really could not live without that PLAN CHEST what happens? Exactly. Sold. Gone. A dream evaporated. It’s why it pays to have NO money at all – as I currently do. There are no decisions to be made. You can blissfully ignore anything coming your way. Saves time too. Magpie, I am not trying to sell you poverty. Not least because, and I wish I were a bank manager so I could tell my clients my new found truth: Poverty is EXPENSIVE. It is. I don’t normally quote the Bible. But am sure that somewhere in there someone said that “those who HAVE will be given, and those who do NOT will be taken to the cleaners”. It’s true. If you are rich you can borrow a fortune, at low interest; if you NEED to borrow you will be given zilch. Sorry. Veering off the subject. Yes, so the plan chest was a bit of a disappointment. Though in hindsight probably just as well. Remind me to tell you of my wormery. If ever there was a love affair.

    Well, Magpie, what can I say: You mention ‘weather’. A close second to yesterday’s passion for queuing. Or mortgages. You have to hand it to the English: They do have a knack for making small talk. The art of the conversation opener. A fine moment in my life, only a few days ago, when it was pointed out to me that Germans are so NOT into small talk they don’t even have a word for it. Made me burst out laughing. making me feel most affectionate for my countrymen. But then we also do sweep our doorsteps ourselves – and don’t wait for the council to do it. With the current strikes Southampton is beginning to resemble a landfill. See, Magpie: I can make small talk too. Even if it is about rubbish.

    Keep up the spark(le)


    PS Forget the BBC weather forecast. Do you remember Michael Fish? His ever hopeful smile barely masked his despair at the futility of his job.

  2. Rummuser Says:

    I have decided, that is very unusual for my normal indecisive self, to make Magpie’s Law of the Sheer (Bloody) Cussedness of Life my written law. Great writing Magpie.

  3. Grannymar Says:

    10pm is right time somewhere!

  4. Maria Says:

    We may have had a Revolution years ago, broke free from England and its laws, but your unwritten MSLBCL must have been lurking even then and has remained intact and fully operable in the States, ever since.

    Add my name back to the LBC Bloggers, please. I stopped for a while, but I am ready to take up the gauntlet again.

  5. magpie11 Says:

    Interesting Maria, I thought that you were all proud of Magna Carta?

    Hope you had a good Independence Day.

    Ah! Ursula, thanks for the reminder. I keep looking , and have even been known to ask, for a plan chest but could not remeber exactly why,,,,

    I often suggest to car drivers that this country should exchange the right for you and only you to park outside your house for the duty to keep the pavement and road outside ones house clean and clear. I usually get some moan about “Paying my road tax….. why should I do more?” I point out that I don’t drive but I’d willingly do it if it cuts down on the arguments and moaning…

  6. Maria Says:

    You humble me, David. I stand corrected and me with the Kate and William only one hundred or so miles away from our little town. LOL

  7. Maria Says:

    I kind of figured you were teasing. Either that or you were going to send the Magna Carte police my way.

    As to the Kate and William. . . . your royal couple are mesmerizing Americans in Los Angeles right now. It is an absolute frenzy of fanfare. I just watched a TV reporter holding up two roses that she promised to bring back to the broadcasting station. Her comment was, “Just think, these roses were in the same room with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.”

  8. magpie11 Says:

    Oh Them! That just goes to show how much attention I pay to the “Royal” family..

    That must count as a blooper!

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