Friends and Enemies…………..

Interesting subject for this weeks LBC  post…Friends and Enemies…. it conjures up all sorts of possibilities.

Regulars here will know what is meant by LBC so I will just introduce the rest and suggest that you visit them for their contributions, which I am sure you will find more erudite than mine:

Anu, Ashok, gaelikaa, Ginger, Grannymar, Helen, Judy, Conrad, Maria and Ramana.

I am late posting,  not because I was bereft of ideas but because I just plain forgot….. I found myself unable to remember the name of a shrub the other day…Fuchsia …… I could describe it well enough for my sister to remember for me…Talking of my sister…as siblings can so often be I always thought of her as an enemy…who wouldn’t with some of the comments my mother used to make? “If your sister was a brother , she’d soon sort you out.” , ” Your sister’s more like a boy should  be than you.” and so on and so forth. That’s parents for you…leave you with a real inferiority complex if you’re not careful. Maybe, just maybe, the worst enemy a child can have could be unthinking parents?

Friends? Well it’s just possible that those same parents think they are being your friend. On the other hand  those parents could turn out to be the best friend you ever had. I think you have to be very lucky with your parents for that to be true. I hope that my children regard me as a friend.

In primary education we often discuss friendship and friends…. I expect that we do not discuss enemies because that could be very dangerous ground to walk over. In addition from my experience there is often enough talk of anger and hatred in some families to last anyone a life time, and it probably does.

Back to discussing friends and friendship: I have two abiding memories form my years as a teacher. The first was a result of an exercise in which ten and eleven year old pupils were asked to write down what they thought a friend was. Amongst the usual offerings like,”A friend is someone who cares for you.” or “…who plays with you.” or even “….doesn’t fight you.” there was a gem. A gem that was worth more than any diamond.

Fay wrote:

” A friend is someone who loves you in spite of knowing what you’re like.”

The other memory was written in a little book the children had made for me. Again, eleven year old children.

“Thank you for teaching me what friend ship is about”

The best I keep until the end…

As for enemies: I had some at school, fellow pupils and teachers and one of the latter I still despise to this day  and if I met him I would tell him so to his face and in no uncertain terms. At his age it would be a most certain punishment for the wrong he did me with most definite malice and relish on his part. He even took it to the extreme of extending his hatred to my sister when she attended the school.

However I think that my worst enemies are the enemies of  the planet…those who willy nilly destroy and corrupt the things around us. They can be political, religious, our neighbours, you and I…. anyone. The greatest enemy of Homo sapiens is Homo sapiens  itself. What makes it worse is that we are the enemy of the rest of the life of the planet.

No more on that…

I promised the best at the last:

Above my Grannies bed used to be a Motto, painted for her by one of her WWI patients. He had no hands and yet this Motto was painted with exquisite skill, It is long gone…another story…

it said:

The only way to have a friend is to be one.

If any of you ever see it…I’ll pay for it to come back home….


6 Responses to “Friends and Enemies…………..”

  1. bikehikebabe Says:

    My mother wasn’t my “friend”. I loved her & she me, but I was very definitely her “daughter”.
    My daughters & I are good friends. I think of them as such. I think I’m their friend too.

  2. Grannymar Says:

    Thankfully Elly and I are very good friends so as the song says… I must have done something good!

  3. Ashok Says:

    I agree, we are our own enemies. Heck my enemies too included teachers and I intended to give one of them a earful but the old macdonald left the institution before I got the damn chance! All the best with finding your teacher Magpie 🙂 Parent child dynamics are a whole different deal though. If there is one thing in life that I am scared of, its the prospect of being a parent, especially if it is a son 😛

  4. Rummuser Says:

    I did not expect this from you Magpie. I perhaps had a romantic idea of an English School Master without an enemy in the world! I was lucky that I did not have any nasty experience with any of my teachers. Some of them in fact endeared themselves to me so much that perhaps that is the reason for my romantic notion about teachers.

  5. Magpie11 Says:

    Ashock…he’s alive and living …. somewhere in Norfolk, England.

    Sons are okay…..

    Rummuser, I had good teachers too… but some 1950s-60s school boarding school masters and mistresses were beyond the pale. A senior mistress of my ken was a tyrant, she famously told one girl and I off for walking along the covered way “with not even enough space to get a piece of file paper between you.” Heaven help us if we’d actually been holding hands. Apparently, she eventually got married and mellowed somewhat.

    I suppose it could well have been a personality clash with my loathed teacher…. just one of several I had with authoritarian types. Later on he married Miss Pye, my maths teacher….that destroyed any hope of reconciliation.

  6. gaelikaa Says:

    One of my teachers (a nun!) advised us never to sit on a man’s lap unless we had a ‘newspaper between us’. Your teacher story reminded me of that…..

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