Gotta Love A Drunk…

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

‘Not a chance,’ says the husband. ‘It’s 3 o’clock in the morning.’ He slams the door and returns to bed.

‘Who was that?’ asked his wife.

‘Just some drunk guy asking for a push!’ he answers.

‘Did you help him?’ she asks.

‘No, I did not. It is 3 o’clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!’

His wife said, ‘Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! I think you should help him!’

The man gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, ‘Hello. Are you still there?’

‘Yes,’ comes back the answer.

‘Do you still need a push?’ calls out the husband. ‘Yes! Please!’ comes the reply from the darkness.

‘Where are you?’ asks the husband.

‘Over here on the swing!’ replies the drunk.



4 Responses to “Joke…….no.1”

  1. Grannymar Says:

    šŸ˜† I love it!

    Now excuse me while I dry my face.

  2. magpie11 Says:

    When I finally found it among my other emails it had a similar effect on me!

    Perhaps I should attach a tissue warning?….on second thoughts that would be a bit presumptuous.

  3. rummuser Says:

    That was wonderful. I just love drunk jokes.

    Here is one for you:

    A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and is stumbling back and forth.

    A cop on the beat sees and approache him.. ‘Can I help you sir?’

    ‘Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr,’ … the man replies.

    The policeman asks … ‘Where was your car the last time you saw it?’

    ‘It wasss on the end of thisshh key,’ the man replies.

    About that time the cop looks down and sees the man’s fly is open.

    He asks the man, ‘Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?’

    Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out …

    ‘I’ll be damned … My girlfriend’s gone, too ! ! !’

  4. magpie11 Says:

    Oh dear! Good one.

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